Friday, September 17, 2010

My sweet chicks

It is only appropriate to share about my girls. I love doing life with these little people and having the joy as their momma to watch the hand of the Lord shape and mold their hearts. Today was a marathon, or a sprint maybe to get it all done for Ellie's 6th birthday. Especially now as life will quickly change and she will become the bigger sister of two siblings it was all the more important in my heart that we really celebrated her. Made her feel loved and super special as she is in so many ways. I was so proud of her as she greeted all her kindergarten friends, bounced with them in the bounce house, did a birthday butterfly craft, and proudly looked around as all her sweet friends sang happy birthday to her. As it always is, watching her face was worth every bit of hard work or swollen feet. At her 3rd birthday party she looked around proudly with that same face.. with an innocent sweetness that I will not ever forget. Ellie belle is my feeler, deep feeler. She loves deeply, plays deeply, and processes life just like her dear daddy. She is driven and focused on the things she loves, school is 1st on that list right now. She comes to me with things processed and thoroughly thought out. She asks me to not help when she confidently says, "I got it mom". I want to be a good "backing off mom". I am learning that with elle and pray as she grows and wants to take more confident steps of childhood, that I am here, Oh so here for her, but let her stand on her on two unique feet. Something I have not thought about until lately is the journey of loss Ellie has been on with us, after we lost Addison. She cried with us, mentions and processes aloud her sweet sister. It hurts in a different way as her mom to know how at her young age she thinks about her little sister in heaven with the Lord and misses her along with us. I think in many ways she has guarded her heart along with me during my pregnancy this time around. This makes me see ways to pray for her in these last weeks of pregnancy and that the Lord would indeed heal her heart of pain too. Oh Lord, work in her heart to heal and restore.. May ellie see the Story of hope in her brother's life thus far... even if it's just a little glimpse of putting our hope not in this world, people, things in this world, but you Lord.. just you.

On to my gray. The sweetness of having her most days all by herself. To have no other children around, just yet, to focus in on this spunky sweet child and learn new aspects of her bright personality.. It brings so much joy.. it really does. It is fun to see myself in gray. Like me, she loves to process life verbally and share things rolling around in her head. Maybe without rhyme or reason, but I could care less.. Love to sit and listen. Her latest phrase is "right momma?" That phrase follows most anything she is declaring to me about her day and I love to reassure her, oh yes gray that is right. Graceyn is my little caregiver. It is almost like she can smell someone having a bad day. You ok momma?? why are you crying ellie?? Are you ok? then with her little hand she pats my back and gives a big hug. Amazingly aware of people around her and the sad or happy expressions people have. She is in tune to others and watching this unfold in her is so fun. How the Lord will use this in her for His glory will be incredible to watch. I am sure that Addison touched gray's little heart, despite her being so young and barely two. She was and still is a belly kisser and had nothing to compare it to, when we came home from the hospital without Addie. Now this round she has been my little assistant to a lot of Dr. appointments, LOTS. Without realizing it, she has been so eagerly hopeful and loved him with such abandon over the past 9 months.. It has moved me and challenged me. Seriously, it is no suprise how her heart for him has refined my own and she has no idea. She has been hopeful for me.
She knows the Dr.'s who have the good candy and certain hair colors.. One place we watch baby brother on a tv and other place we listen to his heart beat for a good bit. She has been his cheerleader and LOVED him deeply from the start. This made me want to grab her heart early on, but this is just gray. She Loves to love. She talks about him constantly and prays for him each time we pray as a family or on the way to school each morning. Her heart to just pray in general is so fun lately.. she prays for everyone.. with gusto and passion.. "for da neigbors around us, baby broder in momma's belly... oh can she go on and on and we all love to hear her heart. Her little life will be greatly effected by her brother's birth and how she will become the big sister. Oh, again, Lord willing it will be a true momma joy to watch this unfold. These chicks bless me to a place of having no more words.. just tears of joy for the gifts of grace they are.. It was overdue to share my heart over them and the sharing will never end. Just thankful...

1 comment:

  1. Sweet, sweet girls...sweet, sweet Mama's heart. Love you, girl!