Monday, November 15, 2010

ThankFULL heart

I am finally a small bleep back on the radar of life and evidently my blog. No intentions of being MIA, just happened.
I forgot how consuming life can be with a newborn. I mean that with all the good of consuming. I have been so eager to be with this child. SO loving when he wakes to feed and for me to get that feeding cuddle time. SO far, this boy is true to his busy self in the womb. He was oh so busy even to the point that the ultrasound tech, during one of my weekly visits could not get a good read on his heart. He was too busy flipping away from the doppler. Hilarious.. but not always laughing past midnight when he is just letting out the nightly fusses, but again.. thankful.. SO thankful.

Jude Anders is deeply loved by his sweet sisters so much so that I have to remind graceyn that he needs to breathe, "thats enough sweetheart." :) Ellie doesn't want to miss one bath or diaper change. She is on top of him saying the things she hears me say, so sweet to watch that happen. All the girls in this house are little mothers... all of us loving him so well and so deeply.

I could not be more thankful.. grateful...and left speechless and amazed at his rising and falling chest. To see life in this sweet boy and get to look into his deep blue eyes... SO much sweetness to acknowledge. Because of Addison's short life, his life seems all the more amazing and miraculous. A friend reminded me that worshiping with Jude in my arms for the first time will be so sweet. She was right. It was and continues to be my favorite part about Sunday worship. To praise God for having him in my arms moving and kicking instead of feeling his movements on the inside, wondering what God had planned for Jude. God heard my cries and answered the cry of my heart. He didn't have to, yet in His compassion He did. Have I mentioned that I'm thankful...Oh I can't communicate the half of it.

Glad to be back as a bleep on the radar.. Thankful to have a place to write and process... as the heart is always full.
much love.


  1. I'm so glad you're back on the radar! You all have been in my thoughts and prayers. It must be wonderful and scary at the same time, at least that's how I imagine it will be for me when we are walking where you are now. I woke up last night and you were on my mind, I prayed for you and was glad to read the happy words of your blog this morning, to know all is going well.

  2. Oh, I was so excited to read this!!! I LOVE hearing all the emotions behind your words and the true FULLness of your thankfulness. Love you, girl!
    I wish I could meet your kiddos!