The chicks are all in their beds and snoring rosebud on her doggie bed. Ah quiet house tonight, so nice. The hustle and bustle of the day time hours is in direct contrast to the sometimes quiet house at night, love the contrast. I was hugging Ellie today and I realized how God has been answering my prayers with her lately. We laugh how our first born is so much like bryan physically and emotionally. At times it is uncanny how similar. I had noticed about six months ago that we were bumping heads more and just her changing into a child and no longer a toddler took me by surprise. In some ways she has been trying to loosen the grip that I have very tightly placed on her hand as a baby.. I hear the phrase, "Ok mom, I got this by myself", in my head a lot when I think about my relationship with elle. She is the first born paving that oh so hard of a first time road with parents. I see my laid back heart come out with Gray because I have been there and done it.. I know what is next. But, with Ellie it is all new, each step, each new development.
So all this said, I have been praying for my relationship with her, wanting to enjoy her and for our relationship as mother and daughter to be deep and connected. I want to "get" her and know how to speak into her little life and heart, which will one day be a big and all grown up heart. So just in the past few days we have spent some really sweet time together. Just laughing at each other without words just looks and expressions. She has let me hug her more and kiss that sweet face. I obviously love my husband and all his endearing passions, so I see this already in Ellie! I took her to the dentist on Monday this week and she is still pumped up about the dentist and all they taught her and explained to her about brushing and flossing. I am desperately trying to keep her from flossing 3 times a day!! Everyone she sees lately will get a glimpse of her new princess toothbrush, floss and toothpaste, as well as here about her experience with the dentist. hilariously like her daddy and precious to see. She loves to collect anything gross and crawly outside so we have collected every glass jar we could find and have a stash of bug catchers at her finger tips. She loves it, she was pumped about her jars.. See this passion I am speaking of?
Instead of trying to find ways to always keep a hand of control on my passionate little one, which was getting us no where. I am striving to learn that as they grow the role I have as their mom changes, maybe it gets harder. I am not saying letting go and no hard core discipline, not at all.. Just my heart in mothering her has to change as she changes. She needs much more than a clean diaper nowadays. I have enjoyed how God has made her, how she is hands down the most passionate almost six year old I know and I am loving watching this develop in her heart. Just praying that God would show me my sin as I want to control but need to loosen my grip and trust Him to use me in shaping this child.
Having a quiet house allows me to actually process this sort of thing.. love it. love my sweet chicks. Oh and my Gray, party kid, is now awake. So long silent house.