Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Just a slice of peace....please.

Lately I feel like I have had a hard time putting a finger on my heart. You know those months seasons, or just days that are rich and sweet times, but just as you get one situation or issue dealt with there is another one waiting in line for it's due time to be dealt with. That is how life feels lately. I make for small snippets of time to pray or read the Bible then I'm off...on adventure.. sorry.. Dr. Seuss Cat in the Hat is on in my house right now. I feel like each child and issue in life has me on an individual adventures with each one of them. So what I am getting at is that peace has felt absent. Peace has not felt attainable. It's the rolling tumbleweed feeling of tossing and being take here and here, over the rocks and stuck behind a tree feeling.

As I was reading this morning, while drying my hair..."My peace, however, is such an all-encompassing gift that it is independent of ALL circumstances. Though you lose everything else, if you gain my peace you are rich indeed." -Jesus Calling

Independent of all circumstances, I turned off my hair dryer at this point to reread. Foolish, I know this, loosen the white knuckles amanda on the adventures I am on. Getting it all sorted and completed, folded, washed, tear wiped, correcting whining instead of words, dirty bodies, hurt little hearts, my addie heart, disobedient sinful little hearts, ugly walls to paint, dog haired hardwoods, broken off teeth, fevered children, schedule of a pastor as a husband, homework check list, errands to run, .... I can't see the peace through all dog hair.. No, it really has been a feeling of, when I get these things sorted and dealt with, I will then feel a sense of peace. Its a ridiculous idea but so easy to buy into. Jesus says I can come to my naked tantruming child with a peace that is not found in that situations. My goodness how my approach to life with this peace in hand would so be full of the love and grace of Christ. No wonder I can't put words to this full heart... I am not letting myself past the circumstances and into the independent peace.. I can have it.. The gospel says I can. I want it for me.. I want my kids and husband to see it in me. So, I want lots of the gospel today. Loads.

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